For much of my life I’ve been told I’m “too emotional”. The more time that passes, people I meet, books I read, and experiences I have, I am beginning to find what was once a very painful statement to actually be kind of funny (sign of healing for me). I’m starting to come to the belief that you can’t really be "too emotional".
Emotions are merely energy in motion. According to science energy is neither created nor destroyed, so I can’t exactly create more energy (not talking energy level on a particular day but the total amount in your energetic body) than say the guy sitting next to me in the coffee shop right now. What I can do is decide how I move that energy through me, what I hold onto and what I release.
In my experience, often when people are labeled as “too emotional” it is because they seem to cry more (aka release more) than what society feels is “average” or they seem to feel feelings more deeply than what is “normal”.
We, as a society, decided somewhere along the way that feelings are “bad”, to stuff them down, to wall off your heart to keep yourself “safe”, etc. That same society, a mentor of mine recently reminded me, at one time thought that it was "normal" that women shouldn’t vote and colored people shouldn't use the same bathroom as whites. Think about that for a moment.
As I have studied this old story (I’m too emotional) that I’ve been carrying around for YEARS, I’ve found that, ironically, often those who have labeled me as such also happen to be those that seem to most struggle with getting in touch with their own feelings/emotions. Funny how that works!
I’m hopeful that as we continue to evolve as a society, we can drop the whole “you’re too emotional” mindset as it can have devastating effects. Some who have said this to me were likely well intentioned, BUT it ultimately led me to believe that I was abnormal and shouldn’t feel how I felt - as if something were “wrong” with me. I know from talking to others that I'm not alone in this reaction and struggle.
Thankfully, other people have recently crossed my path with counter beliefs such as, “We can cry and be brave at the same time. We can be scared and determined too. . . terrified and courageous” that ring deeply in my soul.
Who says we can’t feel big!? Who said crying is bad, weak, ____________ (fill in the blank with words you have heard)!? We picked up these stories somewhere along the way but I'm calling bullshit on them all!
Today and every day I say FEEL however you are feeling FULLY. Don’t wallow in it (don’t stay stuck) but do let it wash over you like a wave. Yes, sometimes it is a 20-foot-Hawaiin-surf-knock-you-off-your-feet-and-tries-to-drown-you kind of wave and other times a mellow ripple, but either way stop being ashamed for how you feel! Acknowledge it and by all means please stop letting others tell you how, when, where, and what you should feel!
Now go forth and feel - SHAME FREE! Tears and all! For the timeframe that is best for you! I give you permission as I give myself the same!
Be Still. Be Love. Be You.